Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
