We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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