I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
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