Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Locals Wish Tourists Would Stop Doing These 27 Things
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
25 True Facts That Sound Fake AF
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD