I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
