i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
