Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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