Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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