Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
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