Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
