Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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