He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
All the doctor said was why
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
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