I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
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It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
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Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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