it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
