First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
