So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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