Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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