i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
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Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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