My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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