small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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