Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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