he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
My pussy is not your playground.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
