Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
