Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
