I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Randomize
