So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I want to fling myself into the sun
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
