i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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