You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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