I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
