I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize