READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Randomize
