I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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