you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize
