walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
