who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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