My friends, they love my intelligence
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
