8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
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