Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
