Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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