Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
