Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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