Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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