I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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