There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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