Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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