fuck your aforementioned shoe
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
