You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
