my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
