When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
