Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Randomize
