Acid is not a monday night drug
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
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