And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
3pm strippers are depressing
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
