some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
