I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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