I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
