Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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