is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
i think my cat just said my name.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
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