btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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