he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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