Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
bring money and cleavage
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
