You just made me feel so damn special
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I love having hate sex.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
