Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
