i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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