I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
