i think my mom watched the whole time
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
This baby is an asshole
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
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