Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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