I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Randomize
