What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
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